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Weird Humour |
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One for the Ladies |
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Why do men resemble computers? |
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Because they have plenty of ram but not enough memory. |
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There's a �50 pound note,laid in the street,along walks father christmas,the perfect woman & the perfect man.who picks the �50 pound first? |
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The perfect man because the other two do not exist. |
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Scared straight |
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Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday.The parrotwas fully grown,with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary,every other word was an expletive,those that weren't expletives were to say the least,rude jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words,playing soft music..anything he could think of nothing worked.He yelled at the bid,and the bird got worse,he shook the bird got more madder and more rude. |
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Finally,in a moment of desperation,jimmy put the parrot in the freezer,for a few moments he heard the bird swearing,squaking,kicking and screaming and then,suddenly there was absolute quiet. |
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Jimmy was frightened that he might haveactually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door,the parrot calmly jumped out onto jimmys extended arm and said ,i'm sorry that i offened you with my language and my actions,and i ask for forgiveness. |
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I will endeaver to correct my behaviour. |
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Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the birds attitude,and was about to ask what changed him. |
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When the parrotcontinued, may i ask what the fuck did the chciken do? |